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…so you can pull a seat up and sit a spell.


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Life’s Changes… Just Keep Moving Forward

It’s been a while since my last post, and boy have I missed the simple concept of writing!

Pfff, I laugh at the word simple.  It’s italicized because simple isn’t simple anymore.  As of January 2013, when everything was in full swing, life dealt me a difficult hand to play.  I’d been attending college, after starting later in life, and was working toward three associates degrees.  That was going to be my “steady” source of income.  However, for a fun means of making money I took a semester of auctioneering class so I could have my own business on the side.  My “Type A” personality was being fed like hungry sharks during a feeding frenzy.

(Insert squalling break sounds here)

Out of the blue my body begins shaking uncontrollably.  My head moves from side to side as if I were constantly telling someone “No.”  The rest of my body shakes in a similar fashion, making me look like an elderly lady suffering from Parkinson’s disease.  To keep from stumbling or falling while walking, I befriend every internal wall within my house.  Fatigue has become one of my constant battles, unfortunately, most of the time it wins.  And my memory?  Everything I’ve encountered within the last minute, hour, day, or week has a tendency to slip my mind.  However, and unfortunately, I’ve lost most everything I’d learned in college pertaining to my degrees.  Let’s not forget my cognitive issues, the main cause of my poor writing abilities.  It’s as if I’ve developed ADD or ADHD overnight.  Sitting still to read or write causes a lot of agitation.  My brain is like a washing machine going back and forth.  Going in one direction agitates me so I change course and go in the other direction, only to be agitated again.  My cognitive difficulties have me looking and sounding like a total idiot while talking to others, including my own child.  I either can’t think of the word I want to say, or I get tongue-tied, but it doesn’t stop there.  I’ve become “typographically dyslexic.”  I know how to spell simple words, yet my brain and fingers don’t communicate properly.  Ex: while typing the word “yet” I first typed “et.”

Moving along now.  I’m taken to the E.R. and worked up for either a “stroke or M.S.”

“Huh?  What did the doctor just say? Not me!”

After a three day hospital stay, where I’m given a head CT and MRI and several labs are drawn, I’m told I’m depressed and given a diagnosis of “Conversion Disorder.”  That’s where, when faced with devastating stress, my body responds with physical symptoms to whatever stressed me out.  (Yea, right!)

After two and a half years, and a growing list of symptoms, I’ve finally convinced my doctor into ordering more MRI’s, including my brain, C-spine, and lumbar. (Coming in the near future).

All symptoms are compared to various diseases, where each disease is ruled out in order to pinpoint what exactly is causing my problems.  My list of possible diseases have been narrowed down; leaving me with one probable disease; M.S.  If you’re an MS’er I’m sure you’ve heard stories, or possibly experienced it yourself, where it can take years for the correct diagnosis.

My motto is: “My Type ‘A’ personality has taken a beating but it hasn’t been knocked out!” In the mean time there’s money to be made.  Not being able to finish my degrees, or work in public doesn’t mean I’ve given up on helping my family out financially.  Though, before giving up on working in the public I tried simple jobs; jobs that quickly reminded me of my disabilities and sent me humbly back into the safe inner walls of my home.

After being told I have a knack for crocheting, I opened up an Etsy Shop, as well as having my own facebook page, to bring in requests for my product.  I crochet dolls that resemble people, such as wedding couples, etc.  However I’m looking into expanding my list of items in the near future due to the consumption of time it takes to complete any given item.  My Etsy Shop is listed as: BellesandLapels, whereas my facebook page is listed as: Belles & Lapels.  Your help in helping spread the word about my shop is greatly appreciated.

Goodness, it sure has been fun settling down to write again.  I must admit, it’s taken me several hours to complete this, yet the desire to write has been lit once again.

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Welcome Back… Me

So… got your morning coffee? Good, let’s chat.
Wow, it’s been a long time since my last post. I’ve missed sharing my thoughts, as well as reading what others have on their minds. Truth is, I’ve been under the weather and have been struggling with some family issues.
I don’t want to go into too much detail and bore everyone, but come January will make it a year that I started having symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Of course there are a lot of other diseases, etc, whose symptoms mimic MS, and thus the doctor has to do many different tests to rule those options out. I’m happy to say all tests were negative. So that leaves the results for the MS tests, right?
Well, from what I understand, optic neurosis is usually one of the first signs of MS, which I had experienced. This can take the form of blurred vision, double vision, loss of vision or any other vision problems in one or both eyes. Everyone’s different; therefore no two people have the exact same symptoms. My doctor saw nothing in my eyes. I had an MRI of my brain and C-Spine, other than a few flakes of saw dust in my brain, no lesions were found.
While I continue to have symptoms of MS, some constant, some infrequently, as well as having signs of “flair ups,” or relapsed episodes of many of my symptoms, it has been determined I do not have MS. While this is good news, and I trust my doctor tremendously, I have my doubts that it’s anything other than MS. I’m told I have “Conversion Disorder.” This is when traumatic emotional things happens in your life, and in turn, since the individual doesn’t know how to deal with it properly their body “converts” emotional problems into physical symptoms. Weird, huh?
So yes, I’ve had some emotional things happening in my life over the past year, including my father’s passing a couple of months ago. Two weeks after his passing all my symptoms reappeared again (keep in mind I still had a few that had lingered all along). The lingering symptoms can, in no way, be connected with emotions, their more neurological.
If you have MS, can you please answer two questions for me?

1) Do you go periods of time without having cramps or any pains whatsoever?
2) Heat is a no, no for MS’ers because it makes me feel ________________?

Anyway, it’s great seeing y’all again; and it’s great seeing my new visitors as well.

Until next time,
Y’all take care now, ya hear?