It’s been a while since my last post, and boy have I missed the simple concept of writing!
Pfff, I laugh at the word simple. It’s italicized because simple isn’t simple anymore. As of January 2013, when everything was in full swing, life dealt me a difficult hand to play. I’d been attending college, after starting later in life, and was working toward three associates degrees. That was going to be my “steady” source of income. However, for a fun means of making money I took a semester of auctioneering class so I could have my own business on the side. My “Type A” personality was being fed like hungry sharks during a feeding frenzy.
(Insert squalling break sounds here)
Out of the blue my body begins shaking uncontrollably. My head moves from side to side as if I were constantly telling someone “No.” The rest of my body shakes in a similar fashion, making me look like an elderly lady suffering from Parkinson’s disease. To keep from stumbling or falling while walking, I befriend every internal wall within my house. Fatigue has become one of my constant battles, unfortunately, most of the time it wins. And my memory? Everything I’ve encountered within the last minute, hour, day, or week has a tendency to slip my mind. However, and unfortunately, I’ve lost most everything I’d learned in college pertaining to my degrees. Let’s not forget my cognitive issues, the main cause of my poor writing abilities. It’s as if I’ve developed ADD or ADHD overnight. Sitting still to read or write causes a lot of agitation. My brain is like a washing machine going back and forth. Going in one direction agitates me so I change course and go in the other direction, only to be agitated again. My cognitive difficulties have me looking and sounding like a total idiot while talking to others, including my own child. I either can’t think of the word I want to say, or I get tongue-tied, but it doesn’t stop there. I’ve become “typographically dyslexic.” I know how to spell simple words, yet my brain and fingers don’t communicate properly. Ex: while typing the word “yet” I first typed “et.”
Moving along now. I’m taken to the E.R. and worked up for either a “stroke or M.S.”
“Huh? What did the doctor just say? Not me!”
After a three day hospital stay, where I’m given a head CT and MRI and several labs are drawn, I’m told I’m depressed and given a diagnosis of “Conversion Disorder.” That’s where, when faced with devastating stress, my body responds with physical symptoms to whatever stressed me out. (Yea, right!)
After two and a half years, and a growing list of symptoms, I’ve finally convinced my doctor into ordering more MRI’s, including my brain, C-spine, and lumbar. (Coming in the near future).
All symptoms are compared to various diseases, where each disease is ruled out in order to pinpoint what exactly is causing my problems. My list of possible diseases have been narrowed down; leaving me with one probable disease; M.S. If you’re an MS’er I’m sure you’ve heard stories, or possibly experienced it yourself, where it can take years for the correct diagnosis.
My motto is: “My Type ‘A’ personality has taken a beating but it hasn’t been knocked out!” In the mean time there’s money to be made. Not being able to finish my degrees, or work in public doesn’t mean I’ve given up on helping my family out financially. Though, before giving up on working in the public I tried simple jobs; jobs that quickly reminded me of my disabilities and sent me humbly back into the safe inner walls of my home.
After being told I have a knack for crocheting, I opened up an Etsy Shop, as well as having my own facebook page, to bring in requests for my product. I crochet dolls that resemble people, such as wedding couples, etc. However I’m looking into expanding my list of items in the near future due to the consumption of time it takes to complete any given item. My Etsy Shop is listed as: BellesandLapels, whereas my facebook page is listed as: Belles & Lapels. Your help in helping spread the word about my shop is greatly appreciated.
Goodness, it sure has been fun settling down to write again. I must admit, it’s taken me several hours to complete this, yet the desire to write has been lit once again.